Sadists and Bastards
by WithoutWingsX
Summary: Allen Walker is the demonic apprentice of a insane and sadistic creature named Cross Marian. But in all honesty the more appropriate term would be servant. And now the maniacal Cross has decided to lend poor Allen to a man named Kanda Yuu. The only problem, Kanda thinks he is getting a little girl to be his secret bodyguard, when in reality, Allen is anything but. FOREVER HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**I couldn't refuse the temptation of doing a Yullen. :) I just couldn't! Hope it is at least decent...**

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Kanda Yuu was a sadist, egotistical bastard. There was no other explanation for this creature who had decided to ruin Allen's life. First it was, "What kind of girl is named Allen?" then it was "Well, you do have the body of a boy" and that was just the first 2 minutes. Then Cross, the bigger bastard had to push Kanda literally into Allen's care. What that meant was another master, another month having to act like a girl and another series of poker games to win. Allen wasn't happy with this at all.

First off, the only reason he was stuck with Cross was when Mana died, the bastard appeared out of thin air and said he needed a female apprentice. To Allen, the small child, all he had to do was act like a girl and that meant food and shelter. Now Allen was 17, and sick of this. His white hair was literally past his butt, and he hated the way he had to wear ribbons in it. And the women Cross had brought back….. God...

It was always, "How adorable. Little girl, can I braid your hair?" Or "Let me buy you a dress sweetie." Sometimes the horrible stuff called makeup was applied to his face. Cross had figured out Allen was a boy, finally, after 3 years. So Cross found a way to score with all females everywhere and torment Allen. That meant more dresses, more hair bows and more makeup. Cross would refer to Allen as his "Little Girl," and the ladies fawned over Allen to no end. So now, Cross had threatened Allen his 'life' in exchange for acting like a female. And sooner or later, Kanda Yuu would figure out Allen was a guy. The worst part, Allen had to pretend to be maybe _half _his age. Like Cross told all the females he entertained that Allen was 10. And there was no doubt that Kanda Yuu probably thought Allen was like 12.

"Come girl," Kanda said and Allen had to resist the urge to bash in his masters face, both of them.

"Yes sir," Allen responded sweetly, fists clenched. Did Allen really have to deal with this annoying man for a whole month?

"I got one of my maids to get you some appropriate clothes. Now that you are temporarily my… bodyguard..." Kanda stifled a laugh.

"Yes sir." Allen said and sighed. Damn that Cross. Not only did he use his feminine looks as an advantage, but also Allen's incredible strength. Especially that one arm that had been cursed by a witch.

Cross was the only one who knows what happens when Allen loses control and blows a fuse. It is painful for those who dared to annoy the small boy. And Allen's soul seeing eye. Allen could sense the good or bad intentions of someone by peering into their soul. And all that was in Kanda's was gray with a fleck or two of red. Indifference and a small amount of bloodlust. But still good, thank god. If there was no black then they were alright. But the only way Allen could see the soul is if he was touching the person. What a setback.

So here Allen was, in servitude to another annoying, arrogant, sadistic man. Hopefully this one wouldn't be as much as a narcissistic lothario as Cross was. Or hopefully not as **violent** or as much as an avid spender. Allen's head still hurt from the time he was wacked over the head with a chair. All because he let it slip that he was a boy to one of the ladies Cross was…. Entertaining….. for the evening. Especially now that Allen was a poker legend, which just meant more money for Cross. Yes, Allen prayed to god that this wouldn't be another Cross. Because one Cross in the world was more than enough.

"Little girl! Bean sprout! Let's go!" Kanda yelled again and Allen's face turned red. God he wanted to punch this annoying man.

"Yes sir." Allen grumbled and followed Kanda into his black carriage.

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**One of my fellow writers read over this and was confused on the meaning of Lathario. A Lathario is usually a man who is... a womanizer. He flaunts himself and trys to appeal to numerous women at one time. The perfect definition of Cross. So..**

**Lathario- General Cross. The truest definition I have seen yet.**

**So R and R please! or RawR... :P**


	2. Lucifer

**I am back. And this time I am really changing up the plot.**

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Once upon a time there was a handsome boy named… well it is of no importance. This boy was born into royalty, but all he wanted was to be a normal member of the populace. But his parents had other ideas for their noble son. Such as working for the…. I cannot tell you but it is a rich and powerful family.

Soon this man, shall we refer to him as A, went off to work. There he met the daughter of the head of the clan. Soon the two fell in love. The man did his best to ignore the girl's family, and their odd ways.

The night before they were to be wed, the woman told her fiancée the truth. About herself.

You see, this woman wasn't exactly human, and had a tattoo that covered her back, a large star. This woman was a demon, and she wanted to let her husband know. But the man just laughed and told her to stop her joking around. Yet all she wanted was him to accept her.

So they married, and bared a son. And on that day the man revealed to the woman who he really was. Lucifer. And then they were slayed by the priests. Leaving the child hidden in the street, to be found by a wanderer.

…..xXx…..

"So, girl, do you know how to spar?" Kanda asked, swishing the black blade through the air with ease.

"Yes," Allen said with a yawn. Kanda threw a sword and Allen caught it.

"Then we should duel.." Kanda said with a grin and lunged at Allen. This was unfair! Allen was wearing a frilly pink dress with a white furry coat and his hair in ribbons. How was he supposed to fight like this? DAMN THAT CROSS! Allen ducked and the blade sliced off a good amount of his hair. Damn, Cross was going to be pissed. Kanda looked at Allen oddly and then grabbed Allen by one of the pigtails, and sliced it clean off. Then he did the same to the other while Allen was standing there, pissed.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Allen yelled and Kanda smiled as the boys hair caressed his pale face face and strands covered one make up covered scarred eye.

"Much better. Suits you." Kanda grinned and Allen hyperventilated. Now he was asking for it.

"That is it! This took me 7 years of torture to get used to long hair! NOW YOU DIE!" Allen shrieked as his arm transformed into a large metal clawed weapon. Then Allen punched Kanda in his horrified face, sending the man flying into a wall.

"Holy shit!" Kanda yelled as Allen ran at him, arm outstretched in a fist. But Kanda shut up as he was sent flying again. Then Allen stopped and took a deep breath. His arm turned back to normal, leaving a ripped sleeve exposing the red appendage.

"Don't. Piss. Me. Off." Allen said and glared at a stunned Kanda. "Don't."

But Kanda just frowned. "That was stupid." He said with a smirk. "Just if you touch me with that thing again, I will chop it off." The Kanda stormed off, leaving Allen to fuss over his now short hair.

Allen now officially hated Kanda Yuu's Guts….

"Holy Shit!" The cry rang out through the building as Kanda Yuu sat up in his large bed, a satisfied smirk covering his face. Now came the fun.

Allen, the one who had uttered the cry, was hyperventilating. His suitcases, makeup bags, purses and all his sewing materials were gone. All that was left near his bed was the bag with his underwear and a few shirts.

Without the makeup, that meant showing the cursed eye, and now all he had to wear was a black skirt, large white dress shirt and black tights. And that was a very unfashionable combination. Not to mention Allen's now short hair. Thanks to Yuu, that bastard.

And now would come the pain.

Kanda's door was broken open to reveal an angry creature standing there, eyes a blazing and teeth bared. Then Kanda saw it. The scar that stretched down the girl's attractive face. Marring it. Scarring it. The Demon sign.

This explained A LOT.

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**Oh ha! Please review my lovelies.**


	3. Girl huh?

**Two stories updated in one day... you are probably like.. OH MY GOD IS SHE SICK OR SOMETHING?! No... actually Keys Studio got me in a productive mood, therefore I wrote a bunch of updates, yeah.**

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The chubby man with the large top hat took a seat in the plump armchair. He looked at the children on the rug, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Oh Earl, please tell us what happened next, oh please!" One of them called out, a smile on his face and his hands neatly in his lap. The man chuckled, showing large teeth as he nodded.

"Of course my child!" he exclaimed and looked toward the ceiling. "Where was I?"

"You just told us how the boy was found by a wanderer!" The children exclaimed and the man thought back.

"Oh yes! Now I recall. So anyway, the boy, a baby, was left in the streets, cold and alone. Then he was found by a clown!"

"A clown!" One of the kids exclaimed, a chubby girl with hair in pigtails.

"Yes, rather ironic right?" The Earl laughed and the girl tilted her head.

"What is ooohhh-ronic?" She asked and the man paused.

"Never mind, anyway, so this boy grew up under the care of the clown. This man, Mana, raised him in the circus. So this boy, a rash and spiteful little thing, mind you, was taught how to juggle and do tricks. He would sometimes be a clown too!" The kids chucked in delight.

"I wish I could be a clown!" One of the kids exclaimed.

"Yes, me too." The Earl grinned. "So one day the clown, Mana was hit by a carriage. And he died on the spot. Now the little boy was heartbroken, and wept by Mana's grave for three nights and days. Then, without knowing it, he used the power he had received from his father, Lucifer, and brought Mana back to life. But because he used this… dark magic… Mana came back in pain and anger. He grabbed the kid and pulled him to the ground." Some of the kids gasped, and the Earl gave a reassuring smile. "But then Mana carved a scar into the boy's face, and made it so the boy could no longer use dark matter. Only good matter. And then the boy slayed Mana, and set his soul free."

"Hooray!" The kids shouted and a few wiped tears from their eyes.

"Well, that is all for today, but I will be back next week!" The Earl said and stood up, grabbing his umbrella and left the room.

…..xXx…..

The.. thing… looked at Kanda with teeth bared and a furious hunger in its eyes. If Kanda had been any other man he would have fainted. But luckily, Kanda wasn't another man, and he stood his ground, staring into the eyes that burnt a hole through his forehead.

"Moyashi." Kanda smirked and the girl shook her head.

"I prefer Allen." Then Kanda looked closer at this demon. With the short hair and slender body, the beansprout resembled a boy.

"So.. are you a boy or what?" Kanda asked and Allen scoffed.

"Took you long enough." He said with a pout and then glared at Kanda. "By the way, Asshole, what's with the whole, throw my belongings away thing? That was a shitty move." Kanda scowled.

"Well, first off, if you are guy then shouldn't you be happy I got rid of the dresses?" Allen hissed.

"Look, who do you think bought all those. I may not enough acting like a transvestite, but sure as hell master would never buy me clothes. Plus, do you have any idea how long it takes to grow hair out? I mean, you should know, you have long hair too. Or I did, but then you pull that shit. You, sir, suck balls." The beansprout blabbed and Kanda che-d.

"Oops." He stated causing Allen to frown.

"Well, you could be a bit more decent about it. An apology might suffice. That is, if you don't be a shitter and tell anyone that I am… you know… male."

"Shitter?" Kanda asked, amusement in his voice. "That isn't very ladylike."

"Well fuck you." Allen shot back.

"No thanks, I don't ship that way." Kanda said with another grin, causing Allen to blush.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He yelled and turned an even deeper red. "You….. you suck ass!" The Moyashi pouted and stomped out of his room.

"Not yours! Too much of a chicken butt!" Kanda yelled after him, hearing a scream and the thunk of metal hitting wood. "Oh that better not have been my wall!" He yelled and heard a giggle. Damn.

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**Sorry it's kinda short... ish. Anyway Review please... damn people. I got 301 visitors on this story... and thanks to those few that did review... you all rock! Haha!**

**PearlesantlRose- I agree... should have been more but I have been soooo short on time!**

**Nikki-3456-Lover- Haha... does this count as soon?**

**Erstine-13624- Yes, poor Allen lol!**

**Pathless- Yes, Allen is fine. Just peachy.. I mean he has been sold to a terd and forced to wear dresses not to mention having to act like a girl... just great LOL!**

**Starisia the Shadow Demon- Haha why thank you. And I actually sent a message and they said that the title was fine lol. I guess bastard isn't that bad of a word...**

**PedobearAttacks- Love the name lol!**

**Elena Windwalker- Okay... I love your profile pic... Black Butler is amazing (That is Ciel in a that one dress.. right?) And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! LOL!**

**ShaeraHaek- Haha here you go!**

**hotxhotguy- He sure does... by a scantily dressed Allen with a whip and chains... *drools...* Sorry, I think I just died by a major nosebleed.**

**That Punk Rock Chick- Aww Thank YOUUUU!**

**Keys Studio- Haha *huggles back!* I have you to thank for this! You kicked my lazy butt into action LOL!**

**Sorry if I forgot anyone... but I also love my followers! You guys are pretty cool too-**

**I will post all your names next time to show the world how amazing you all are! Like... the best ever! Haha... 23 of you all.. amazingly sexy intelligent aliens!**


	4. Baka Usagi

Life with those two was always unpredictable. One second Kanda would be growling at Allen for doing something, and the next he would be on the floor with a cheerful silverett sitting on his chest laughing.

Allen just wasn't the kind of person to quake in fear because of Kanda's rudeness.

Lavi had figured this out easily.

…..xXx…..

"Yuu!" Lavi yelled as he flung open the door of his best friend's house. "Yuu my love, where are thou?" An irritable sigh from the kitchen answered his question, and skipping in, he saw his beloved Kanda sitting at the large table, a small pale thing across from him.

"Hello!" The girl... boy? chirped and Lavi took that time to study the specimen. White hair of medium length circled the round and childlike face. Big silver eyes stared at him; framed by white eyelashes, so thick they were obviously notable. Small pink lips in a slight pout completed the picture of innocence, or at least it did until the thing tilted its head to one side, revealing a red scar over the left eye. Then Lavi, to put it frank, lost it.

"Yuu! Get back! I vow I will protect you from this retched beast, this son of Satan! Do not fear! Knight Lavi is hither!" With that the gallant red-head pulled out a rather oversized hammer and ran at Allen, wielding the black metal tool with fearsome potency.

But alas, he was soon stopped with a rather cruel punch in the cheek, and he fell to the floor with a resounding crack. Kanda rubbed his fist, a smug smile imprinting into the usually scowling demeanor, as Allen watched with wide eyes.

"Moyashi, this is Baka Usagi. Baka Usagi, this is Moyashi. Moyashi is my bodyguard, now don't try to mess with my property again, or I will do more than hit you, you idiot!" Kanda yelled at the partly unconscious man on the floor, the hammer still in his grasp. But in mere seconds, he was back on his feet, the hammer mysteriously gone to who knows where, and his jaw practically to the ground.

"You have a demon, as a bodyguard?" The red-haired man whined, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. "That is so unfair!"

Allen grumbled and stood up from the chair, a scowl starting to form on his lips. "Who are you calling demon?" He asked, a hurt and upset tone evident in his voice. Lavi glanced back over at the boy.

"Oh, sorry. So, your name is Moyashi?" He asked, smiling reassuringly, but stepped back when the boy's face began to turn red.

"NO! My name is Allen! Bakanda decided to call me that stupid nickname. It makes NO SENSE! I am not that small!" Allen yelled, his face still the color or a ripe tomato, and his hands clenched into small fists. Lavi thought for a second and then shook his head.

"Nope, Allen, you are pretty small if you ask me." The boy let out an outraged shriek and stomped off, rather aware of the smirking Kanda watching him leave.

"So, Kanda, where can I get one of those?" Lavi asked and Kanda sighed.

"Look, I never asked for a devil, Hell I never even asked for a seer or bodyguard or whatever it is. It was all Tiedoll." He let out a mumble, which sounded suspiciously like a jumble of curses, then sat back down at the chestnut table. "It has been hell, living with that annoying thing. All it does is complain, eat and sleep. It acts like an animal, and has the manners of one too." Lavi let out a chuckle, and the distraught Kanda glared at him.

"Sorry, just sounds like you have taken a liking to the boy." Lavi answered knowingly.

"I guess I don't mind him, he does make for entertaining company. I consider it more of a business relationship though, and there is no "like" involved here. I get warned of any incoming dangers, and it gets a full belly. Plus, I bet the beansprout is happy to be away from that bastard, Cross. That man, my god." Kanda let out another sigh and put his head down on the cool wood. "I just am stressed right now, you know. I don't even have the energy to cut you up into little usagi pieces right now. But if you are still here in five seconds, I will have to rethink that." Lavi let out a nervous giggle, and then immediately made a run for the door.

"See you tomorrow!" He called and Kanda groaned rather loudly. This only brought a fond smile to Lavi's lips.

…..xXx…

Almost daily the red-headed rabbit would show up at Kanda's door, usually with his hammer safely tucked away. And almost daily Allen would watch as his face would be smashed in after he tried to embrace Kanda.

Allen soon realized that Lavi also had a rather... eccentric attitude, an affectionate personality too.

Daily Allen's cheeks would be pinched, nose would be grabbed and a full body very awkward hug would occur often. Kanda found the embarrassed blush that would stain Allen's cheeks very entertaining, causing the boy to both growl and leap at the man, or for the white haired boy to stomp off angrily.

Lavi also noticed the small gestures the two always made towards each other. The fighting, the yelling, even the violence seemed more for; dare he say, fun rather than pain. Why, he could go far enough to infer that it may have been Kanda's way of, flirting?

Of course, when that tidbit was suggestion, once in the privacy of the kitchen, it resulted in a bloody nose and a cracked rib. Allen had come running, but neither man would tell him what had transpired. This made the topic of Kanda's sexual preferences almost nonexistent. Allen was under the impression the man was asexual. Judging by his feminine hair, but manly posture, he really didn't seem to suit either the straight or gay bracket.

But, it really wasn't like Allen cared, hell, women annoyed him and men aggravated him. So Allen liked the bliss with Kanda, the relationship-less relationship. The one where Allen would run through the large house with Kanda's Katana in hand while he was chased furiously by a man in a towel.

Or when Allen had snuck into Kanda's room during the night and got up real close to the man, watching him sleep peacefully. Watching that relaxed, handsome, fearsome warrior sleep made Allen feel a sense of inner peace and happiness with his new life, his life with that easily annoyed man. Which the newfound calm was abruptly shattered when Kanda awoke to find all his clothes missing from his large closet, and only a frilly pink dress remaining.

Allen took great pride in his pranks, and in his teasing. He was one of the only people who could make Kanda blow a gasket, and it was bloody hilarious. A tap on the shoulder, a poke in the back, and slight head tilt would make that vein on the man's forehead even more pronounced. Allen's skill at annoying the man was even greater than Lavi's.

So honestly, Lavi was amazed that Allen was still alive, much less perfectly unharmed. Except for the few scratches and bruises, the boy didn't seem to be a victim of Kanda's rage. And this made Lavi truly consider if there was more than met the eye to these two.

Sure, he snooped around a lot, and sure he had never seen a true "moment" between the two. But some of the small gesture they made to each other really seemed to teeter on that edge.

For example, when Lavi would stay the night, secretly of course, he would notice the two always started their mornings off with a walk in Kanda's vast garden. Allen would sniff the roses and skip through the trees while Kanda would just watch him. If Lavi didn't know better he would say Kanda even sported a fond smile. Then Allen would complain about his "poor stomach's" lack of food, and Kanda would sigh and drag him into the house.

That was the other thing. Kanda seemed to grab Allen a lot. Whether it be a tug on his hand, a grasp on his arm, even once it was the sprout over the shoulder; it was still rather unheard of. Kanda was one to hate physical contact, and even with the way he proclaimed his disgust for Allen, he sure didn't become bothered by getting close to the boy.

Lavi of course had exhausted the possibility of them being together, like that. For it was one thing for Kanda to like the appearance of someone, but a totally different thing for the inside to be liked as well. And that small thing took time, much more time than the two had been acquainted.

At first, Lavi had also doubted the "powers" of the boy. Bodyguard, the sprout?

But when Allen, Kanda and Lavi were out scoping the market on a particularly sunny day, the inevitable happened. Kanda was attacked.

But this time, instead of Kanda getting his hands bloody and coming out with collateral damage, Allen had stopped it. Right behind Kanda a man had snuck up, what looked like a large ax over his shoulder, and as he went to swing right at Kanda's head, he was stopped. The man just seemed to fall over. But a closer look revealed a metal box in Allen's hand.

Turns out the sprout had been concealing darts all day, and once again Lavi was speechless, all because of that boy.

And Lavi learned the hard way not to challenge Allen to a game of poker. It had ended with a very upset bunny walking home with only a pair of boxers, not even his headband left. The boxers probably would have been lost too; if Lavi hadn't made a run for it once Allen had turned to shuffle the cards. This assured Lavi that the boy was indeed a child of Satan.

Now Lavi was more than nervous. He had been seeing his grandfather's business partner's daughter for a while now. Her name, Lenalee Lee, and wow was she a beauty.

Black hair with a green undertone shone brightly, reflecting the overhead stars no matter what time of day. And her big eyes, plump lips and button nose made Lavi just blush thinking about his fair maiden. And now it was time to introduce her to his "best friends". She was excited, humming a tune as she stared out the carriage window while Lavi just fiddled with his hands.

Kanda knew Lavi was bringing a date for dinner. Allen knew Lavi was bringing a date for dinner. The two evilest, sneakiest, menacing people on the earth knew that LAVI was bringing a girl that he liked to dinner. This was just asking for a disaster to happen.

Finally the dark castle came in view, and as they pulled to a stop Lavi escorted his lady out of the carriage. She looked up at the castle with wide eyes, and then gave him a reassuring look.

That was until a scream came from the gardens, and out of the hedge rushed a small boy with a shock of white hair and Kanda's hair-tie held over his head triumphantly. After him came a furious Japanese man with long hair streaming behind him, his sword out and pointed at the boy.

Allen set his sight on Lavi and jumped onto the red-head, not noticing the quiet lady standing next to his friend.

"Lavi! Save me! Kanda is going to shop me into little pieces then dump me in the river!" Allen cried, trying to get behind Lavi as Kanda came closer and closer.

But right as his sword was in stabbing distance, a miracle happened. Kanda fell to the ground holding his head and yelling loudly. And standing above him was Lavi's quiet and polite date, a clipboard, the offending weapon, in hand and a frown on her beautiful face.

"What the hell? Kanda?!"

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**So I am back! **

**I am also proud to announce my new contest. I am updating my stories according to Fav plus Follows. So The one with the most favs and follows is updated sooner, and I already have up until feb 25th planned. Every week, one of my stories will be updated. Also, if I get enough PMs about a certain story, I will be willing to update sooner, possibly. Maybe switch a few dates around. So the contest you ask, well, the story with the most favs and follows gets updated once a month. So far, it is Meeting Again, another one of my Yullens. I also have all the dates the rest of my stories will be updated on, on my profile.**

**After feb 25th, I will be starting all over, and making another list of dates for the stories that remain, so the order may change. Remember, I may update before the placed day, that is just the LAST DAY I can update. This is for all my followers sake.**

**Here is a list of upcoming updates for the rest of October:**

Counter Attack **10/31 (Remember like in this case, it may be earlier, but not any LATER than the set date.)**

**So here you go, I hope this will stop all the complaints about my lack of updates. For a complete list of ALL my stories and their dates, just click on my name :)**

**Remember, if you are wary and it is the last day I have set myself for a certain story, feel free to go ahead and send me a violent threat. I am all good with that. If you are confused, review with your question and/or PM me, and I will reply in a 24 hour timespan.**

**OH! And I WILL NOT BE posting any NEW stories (like brand-spanking still on my computer, un-published stories) until I have completed at least one. So it is like an eye for an eye, ish. So unless you really want be to be the first to read one of the new things I have been working on, don't worry about any more interruptions. And if lets say you do want to read one of them, PM me and I will send you the first chapter of one that you choose. That way you all can give me an opinion if it is even worth pursueing.**

**So sorry about the really long authors note, and I hope you enjoyed this chappy. If so, or if you have any complaints, feel free to click that little review button and tell me. I don't know about other authors, but reviews make me feel all warm and gooey inside.**

**I really hope this chapter was long enough, I kinda needed you to be left hanging, tehe~**

**Thanks to animelover5ful from DeviantArt for the cover!**


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